TIFU by helping my friend assemble a new bed entirely without realizing it was too small for his mattress.

Now I've assembled Ikea furniture before and never had much difficulty, but this was on another level of shared stupidity and lack of foresight.

My friend had recently moved and his family went to Ikea to buy new beds, and from what I understand, one of the employees must have given them the wrong sheet which was for twin bed frames and they hadn't realized it. He had a double mattress.

When I arrived at his house, we went upstairs where his mom and sister were assembling a bed and he was working on his own. He had one of two drawers partially done, and that's where incoherent conversation and our combined passiveness towards the task lead to one drawer being assembled with both side frames being put on upside down; first setback. Then, after flipping them around, we put the baseboard on upside down with the wheel frames facing inside of the drawer; second setback.

So after figuring out how to make a drawer, we made another somehow. Then we had to make the bed frame, but that's twice as hard for two people with half a brain each. Along two boards that put together to make the headboard, 4 plastic buffers had to be hammered in between to prevent cracking (or friction or termites, I'm not a carpenter). Those would then be pried out later of course.

Once the bed frame was fully assembled (without the metal spokes or rolled up support planks) my friend only then realized that the mattress wasn't going to fit.

The real maraschino on top of this fudged sundae night was that half of the cardboard boxes were mangled (I recall wrapping a thin strip of it up like a scarf and wearing it), one of the drawer's boards was cracked to shit, and we had to take the whole god damned piece of shit apart to deal with in the morning and sleep on the floor.

How was your weekend?

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