Yesterday I was doing an activity that involved me having an erection with no pants on...
Anyway, while cleaning up, I used the last paper towel. I then decided to measure my girth using the depleted roll. "Huh, better than I thought" I said to myself before throwing the roll on the floor.
About an hour later I put it in the recycling bin in the kitchen. The bin was quite full, so I really just set it on top.
Last night my roommate and his girlfriend were cooking, and they were a little drunk. As I walked in the kitchen to get something out of the fridge, I saw her putt the roll up to her eye and laugh.
"Oh, fuck!" I thought to myself, but I didn't say anything. WTF would I even say?
She woke up this morning with pink eye.
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