Happened on Monday, but I could not post it during the week due to Rule 3 at right.
I’m not sure if it is my fuck up, or the Gas Station’s. You decide.
After my morning coffee Jet-Fuel, I pull over to buy a pack of smokes and relieve myself of the double-grande turd brewing in my belly. I roll my Jeep into a lucky front row spot at a Gas Station, open the door and hop out.
Inside is a woman holding a baby. We'll call her Naggie. Naggie is arguing with the nice Indian gentleman who runs this fine establishment. I half listen, gathering she’s upset because this store does not sell diapers or wipes for her baby. Fair argument, but Indian man can’t change the fact he’s not stocked with these items at that moment. He shrugs, and apologizes for the third time that I know of. Naggie walks off in a huff with child in arms to the restroom.
I approach Indian man, smile, and buy my smokes. I wait about five more minutes browsing the interior of the store and making small talk. Indian man’s name is Depak. He used to live in New Delhi and ran a small family store there. Nice man.
My stomach rumbles, it’s time to take the Browns to the SuperBowl. Finally, the woman steps out of the Unisex toilet with her baby.
I march past her into the restroom, see the toilet, drop trousers, and plant my ass.
The relief is incredible, like the feeling of flying and hitting a home-run all in one. But… there’s something wrong. I realize the bathroom area smells like Detroit on a hot summer’s day. It’s not me, unless I ate roadkill and didn’t digest it properly. It’s rancid. The smell is so strong I can taste it on my tongue.
I finish, wipe, flush, and stand. I’ve always been religious about washing my hands because you never know if any poop speckles might magically jump onto the fingertips.
And in the sink I find this NSFW - Imgur photo.
I gag. Gag again. Give a half puke and spit it in the waste basket to my left. Fuck me. I think of Reddit, and snap a photo with my cell. What the fuck, why not share it? (actually I thought of my buddy Greg, and how much fun it would be to send this to him).
Outside, the woman is long gone. I approach the counter again and give Depak this sorrowful look.
“Hey buddy,” I said. “I think that lady’s baby just shit in your sink.”
Depak’s mouth opened. His TIFU for not stocking baby stuff might be the next post.
tl; dr; Had to crap, went to Gas Station, woman with baby gets mad at attendant, and I shit next to her baby’s puddle of ass lava without knowing it.
EDIT: Ha ha. I heard thirty minutes after this happened from another buddy of mine. Depak called the cops. There's now a BOLO for a sink-shitting baby.
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