Hello Fellow Fapstronautical Space Men!
I just wanted to share with you some personal experieces on how I'm feeling during this run.
ENERGY: Every day I feel more and more incredible. I'm full of energy and I actually have an appetite!! (before not even food interested me...(probably the dopamine receptor density reduction from porn),etc.
SINGING: I crack less and my voice has a better sound. I hit pitches more spot on, and can even recall lyrics much better. I tested this by using a youtube rap karaoke video that is nearly impossible for me to keep up with normally, but I did it with EASE and pizzazz this streak. I'm also coming up with improvised harmonies, runs, and melodies on the spot.
GENUINE LAUGHTER: I catch myself finding things ALOT funnier to me, such as situations and stuff. I share this humor with girls ALOT, at work, as flirting just comes naturally. I haven't laughed so deep from my belly, in years :) I have stopped pretending to laugh if something isn't funny to me and damned if now everything really IS funny!
VOICE: My own voice has surprised me when I 've used it. It seems richer, deeper, clearer, and sounds like it's fully of personality. Before, I felt like I had to force my voice, where as now I've come to speak naturally deep and resonating.
SOCIAL: I'm very engaged with connecting to other people and ideas, through things like facebook. All day my mind has a tendency to think philosophically, in a humourous way, and then I post these things on facebook where I tend to get a lot of likes and comments each time. I feel like maybe I'm becoming annoying with how much I share lol. Also, I reply to other people alot more (such as my wanting to even create this thread) and I REALLY wanna encourage and motivate people, because we can all use it - seeing the positives) Also, I've started kind of dating a chick. She was a hostess at my last job (where I was a server) and she randomly hit me up after graduating from college (She's 22 and I'm 26) saying she wanted to catch up. We've gone on three dates and I even had the balls (for the first time ever on a first date) to walk her to her car quietly, turn to her, pull her into me and kiss her while looking into her eyes ON THE FIRST DATE. (I just read that this would work, and it did loll. She said it was so spontaneous but has been digging me ever since. She even paid for dinner this last date (I paid for the first two and she insisted very hard that I don't pay for this last one; or even split it with her. I took her drinking and paid for that though, after dinner :) We're getting more romantically involved I guess, with a healthy amount of space im between. It's awesome, and honestly I'm not even chasing girls. I'm cool with being exclusive and at least giving it a shot, but I'm really valuing being single and feeling desirable :D
MORE CHICKS: I don't know if it's from the fact that I'm so comfortable now with joking with them, and prodding them that they're so interested in me. One girl, today, I work with, is very hot. She's got toned legs and arms with a nice butt. I was flirting very hard with her, and making her laugh. I somehow ended up asking her if her boyfriend appreciate's her (jokingly, after she mentioned she had one at a certain point) and she said "no, actually" while smiling. I told her I would and that she should call me when she gets tired of her current guy not appreciating her looks. I would not have been this bold a week ago, even.
MUSIC: I've really picked up hardcore in this way. Before, I felt like I had to almost force myself to get into the habit of learning a song, or recording a song. Now, I WANT to practice...because it comes to much easier. I play piano and can sight-read music that is more complicated and FASTER, making comprehension and retention much easier. I can feel the music more, if you know what I mean. Emotionally. I've also gotten much more focus on my soundcloud (https://soundcloud.com/omar-bham), where I sing covers of songs. I want to get better at singing for recording, and find ways to improve. I naturally want to learn hard songs. Also, I develop an itch for wanting to make things perfect (such as mixing the tune better and taking time to make sections sound RIGHT)
DESIRES: I find myself wanting things more. I want to win. I want to be the best at things. I want to get back with meditation, and practice stillness. I even want stupid things like exactly what I want to eat and it's not normally for me to have cravings like that. I want to stay awake again, because I have so much I want to do - instead of because I can't sleep and need to pass the time. And I'm SUPER motivated to finally save the money I need to save and do the big career move I keep talking about. Nothing is going to stop me this time, and I'm not even letting a relationship cross my mind if it's going to stop me. If I'm with a girl by next year, then she's moving with me to L.A. ! ;)
This has not been easy, at all, however. The devil comes knocking many times, and in many forms a day. I've had to stop my own mind from wanting to go back to old patterns that ALWAYS led to me to horribly failed relapses where I've even quit nofap all together for a long time, and falling in an even bigger hole in my life than ever before (and losing my relationship with the perfect girl of two years together. I got with her during my first longest streak of 70 days and things started so strongly. The more I used porn and lied to her about not doing it, the worse my addiction became as before. I felt dominated, when we started with reverse roles. I became anxious, stressed, insecure, flaccid, prematurely ejaculatory lol. My addiction led to me cheating on her, because sexual desires on a whim, when without her, caused me to lack any morals or promises to contracts I had with this girl. I just needed to get off, and lost sight of reality. I cared about this chick but hurt the shit out of her when she found out. We stayed together a while after, but the relationship wasn't the same. Porn took away my ability to make love to her, and therefore I just used her to get off, during sex. I was an uncaring demon.
I've had triggers attempt to call my name at least 4 times today, very seriously. Things are getting difficult, with most girls looking radically hotter to me. I work in Miami Beach and the women around here are drop dead GORGEOUS, visiting from all over the world. It's so HARD, to not want to stare. The first few days it was almost easy to just focus on myself, as I guess it was a flatline. Now, however, resisting my desire to gaze at girls occasionally is alot more thwarting to my focus.
Anyway, there are alot of smaller details and things that are noticeably improved, such as how I style my hair, match my clothes, want to keep my car and room neat, organize everything, and learn information and teach information.
This post is already long and way too ranting, however, so I'll just thank you for reading this far! I hope it either motivates you to keep pushing your streak further, or reminds you of how the benefits you may no longer be aware of are actually still a major part of you (if you're on a super long streak and aren't improving more and more after hitting the ceiling).
Cheers guys and gals :)
P.S. The dopamine receptor, and androgen receptor thing are REAL! ;)
Source by DarkestChaos
Mens Hair Styles 2015
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