I've only posted once before, about how I was being excluded from a family bbq and how I was secretly thrilled about it. This little story should give you a better idea of where I fit in the family.
So my GCbrother was getting married. This gives Nmom an excuse to act more controlling than usual. I'm a pretty good seamstress and I have a pretty distinct sense of style, plus an unusual body shape, so to save on money and stress I decide to make a dress to wear to the wedding. Nothing hugely eyecatching, just something nice and simple that I like. The whole time I'm making it Nmom is badgering me to go dress shopping with her, telling me about sales and the like. When the dress is finished and I show it off, she tells me it's too similar to the bridesmaid's dresses. Note that they could have told me about the colour scheme long before I ordered the fabric. Note also that at the wedding itself I noted that the bridesmaid's dresses were nothing like the dress I made.
So she ends up buying me a dress, it's black and sparkly and nothing at all like my style but I make the most of it by jazzing it up with vintage accessories. Nmom has also demanded that I dye my hair back to what she considers a normal colour (had bleached it for a charity thing.) As she is paying for it and I'm in no mood to be badgered, I go ahead with it.
So the day of the wedding arrives, and I have a problem. The headpiece I'd ordered to match my dress does not match the new dress, and I have nothing to wear in my hair. This is a disaster, I am told in front of the hairdresser and beautician that are there to do the makeup of her, my aunt, my brother's girlfriend and as an afterthought, me. I cut short the uncomfortable berating session by telling them I'll sort something out.
I'm very much a 'Mary Marvel' type of ACON, I dabble in a lot of different hobbies until I get good at something. I had dabbled in floristry and millinery for a bit and happened to have some lace and sewing thread in my suitcase, so I went to the hotel reception and asked if I could take some of the roses they had in a vase. They agreed, I took them back to the room and in ten minutes I had a workable fresh flower fascinator. This had the add-on effect that the hairdresser and make-up artist were blown away and kept talking about it.
Nmom is not happy. So when it comes time for me to get my makeup done, she's sniping about my appearance. It doesn't work because the make-up artist has never heard of circle lenses, which I'm wearing, and is blown away again. I know my face and what looks good, and when I suggest white eyeliner to make my eyes look bigger Nmom has to cut in with a trashy jibe. I explain the reasoning, make-up artist agrees with me.
Finally out of desperation Nmom talks about my eyebrows looking like caterpillars. Nobody laughs, there's an uncomfortable silence (save for the quiet 'Oh my God...' from the make-up artist) until I say "Ladies and gentlemen, my mother!" and everyone laughs.
That was basically the most entertaining part of the day. The rest of the day was the usual black sheep shite, I was the only member of the immediate family not sitting at the top table. I was stuck at a table with a bunch of my brother's friends who I'd never met and had nothing in common with. My vegetarian meal was not provided though I haven't eaten meat for sixteen years. I was also not permitted to bring a plus one though I'd been seeing someone for almost a year at that point.
GCbrother's wife is now pregnant, and is going to reap the crzy whirlwind because Nmom is not good with children. At all. I have been a nanny for twelve years though so the bridges are already being patched up.
Source by Cakeisalifestyle
Mens Hair Styles 2015
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