Monday, 1 June 2015

Gender Discrimination or just a bad boss? (FL, US)

TLDR at bottom of post

I'm dealing with a new-ish boss at work and I'm unsure at this point if he is just really bad at his job or is discriminating against me because I am a female in a male-dominated industry.

I've been at my job as a Software Support Engineer for almost 2 years. For the last year and a half, I've been head over heels in love with my job. I work closely with end-users to solve their issues or teach them how to use my company's very specialized software. The company was a small startup when I began, and has ballooned after the past two years, tripling in size. With our growth came some changes, and it's been different, but not terribly bad....until my manager was replaced with my current boss. My previous manager certainly had different managerial styles than the new one, but at this point it feels like things might be beyond that.

I will mention details such as age, gender, and location as I am not sure whether they are important or not.

My new manager (Batman...40's male) replaced my old manager (60's female) several months ago. Since then, he has relegated me (20's female) to doing only administrative work. I am not allowed to do any technical or "complicated" work, and have to give those to my teammates, all of whom are male (except one, who is female and also only allowed to do 'easy' or admin work). While I'm good at things like excel and SQL and did them on occassion to help out my old manager, Batman has decided this is my full time duty, despite the fact that I carry the same title as all the other male members of my team and have worked here longer than most of them.

This dramatic shift in my workplace environment has had a major affect on my personal life. I'm not proud of it, but I've picked up smoking and drinking to ease my nerves, and am gaining weight and losing hair from the stress. Because I recognize this, I am actively looking for another job. Since I work for a software manufacturer and our product is very specialized, it would make sense to go into another job that utilized the software I support right now. Since I've been forced into this admin work for so long, I'll need to get reacquainted with our program. Problem is, Batman won't let me. When I proposed that I set aside two afternoons a week to allow me to do technical work, he said if I want to do that, I can do it at home, and that I have a responsibility to do his administrative tasks. In a meeting, I asked him how I could then 'advance' to being allowed to do technical work again. He said he would need to get the Office President's approval, and then I would need to go through training (to be allowed to do the job I was hired for and was doing well at before he started). When I explained to him that he's essentially demoted me (by restricting me from technical work) and that it might seem odd to an outsider that only the females on the team are restricted from doing the jobs they were hired for, he just kept saying "This isn't about gender. This is how your old manager did it. Blame her for sexism."

So here's my dilemma. My job duties have changed though my title has not. I believe this is due to my gender. I am not sure what, if anything, I can do about this, either while I work here or after I leave.

Notes I feel are important:

1) I have only one other female coworker, she is in a Eurasian office (not my or Batman's local office) and is content with what she is doing. She emigrated to that country specifically for this job, only had admin experience and has, since her hiring, only done admin work. I'm not sure what her job title is, but she is quite happy doing the admin stuff and seems intimidated by the technical work I long to get back to.

2) I received an unscheduled raise of over 5% prior to my one year anniversary, and the month before Batman started, I received a bonus based on being the highest rated person in my department (performance review from my previous manager).

3) I have recently at times struggled with handling these new duties, as they were not something I've been trained in and have had no experience doing. During our meeting, Batman brought this up as a 'roadblock' to me getting approval to get back to my previous technical duties. (I explained it to him like this "I have essentially been demoted from my position, to a position I never applied for and was never trained for. I am now being judged based on my performance in this new position in order to get back to the job I was actually hired for and doing successfully before you got here."

4) Batman is constantly threatening my job security here, to the point of my coworkers pulling him aside and telling him to knock it off. He uses phrases like "I expect more from you", or "I'm very disappointed in you". I've talked to my (male) coworkers and he does not use this wording with them. I feel like he tries to talk to me like he's my father, which is not appreciated, but could also just be my interpretation.

5) I would typically go to HR about this, however, we do not have an HR manager in our local office. We have someone who handles the paychecks and benefits but our real HR (hiring, promotions, etc) is located in our Eurasian office.

6) After I came back from my ad-hoc maternity leave this winter (I was off all of 4 days before returning to the office since we were not big enough for FMLA at that time), I was allowed to start work an hour later than manager as to expand our office hours (and because I was much more awake then lol). To help Batman's initial transition, I offered to temporarily change back to the manager hours when Batman started. Once he transitioned in, I went back to my old hour-later schedule but that was immediately revoked by him because "he was excited to tell me something and hated waiting an hour to discuss it" [ with me]

TLDR; Got a new boss after 1.5 years at my specialized technical job. He changed my role within our team so I am stuck doing only admin work while the other team members (male) are allowed to still do the technical work I used to do (and was hired for).



Source by tsukemono
Mens Hair Styles 2015

[ranting of a stressed bride] $$$$$$$$$$$ + my mom

Why are photographers (ones I like) SO DAMN EXPENSIVE? I live in NJ/NY area (very close to the city and everything basically city price) and EVERYTHING wedding-related is so...out of my budget. I saved a lot of $ on the venue/food/other random stuff, but I really want to splurge on the photographer and makeup/hair...BUT when I didn't realize just how expensive these would be! So far I've got:

  • hair/makeup for 7 women (me, bridesmaids, mothers) = $1500 + 20% gratuity
  • photographer: most packages start at $3000 (not including engagement photos)

Ugh. Also, my mom is being crazy with the wedding dress shopping even though I don't have TIME. I only got 6 months and I think I've found a dress I like, but because my mom is paying for it, she wants to keep shopping....Reasons why this sucks:

  • I am not a thin bride and putting dress on in front of a stranger (and not being able to fit into some dresses) and my mom yelling at my fat belly feel terrible....I feel like i am being bullied.
  • My mom, as mentioned above, is paying for the dress, and keep pushing the budget. I would rather buy a $1500 dress and have her pay for a part of the aforementioned photographer or something, but she thinks that I should get a $2500 dress. I don't understand why I need to drop thousands of dollars for a dress I will wear for 6 hours.
  • My mom and I want completely different styles. STRESS.

There. I am done venting. Thank you if you read this far. Hope all you fellow brides are having a better experiencing with dress shopping than me.



Source by aalliiccee
Mens Hair Styles 2015

Quick coworker update (and quandary)

Sadly, no big big posts about what she's read. My coworker and I only got to talk VERY briefly today, and we won't see each other again for a while due to REASONS. She just got to Dragon's first fight with the Undersiders. That said, here recently we did have a little chat on Facebook the other day about, of all things, Weld's appearance. She sees him being built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but with the jawline and a nose of someone of African decent. Funnily enough, that's what I imagine for the most part. Though we disagree on his hair -- she sees a molded greaser style, while I see more of a molded Ken doll style. (My buddy sees him more like Colossus, the philistine.)

Also, she's going to make her husband into a cape. Yup. A reptilian Case 53. Her husband. Yup. I've created a monster.

Now for the quandary. See, when we parted, the girl who just transferred in approached me. I still don't know her very well, other than she's a perky, bubbly one, but still snickers over my antics. (I'd use the fact that I don't know her name as a measurement, but I have coworkers who I've worked with for a year whose names I can't remember.) She noticed that we tend to discuss something REALLY EXCITEDLY, and then seem to fall into smart conversations. I explained that we were discussing a web serial novel and she was like "Oh, really? I've been looking for something new!"

Long story short, I have someone chomping at the bit to read it. I AM A CORRUPTING INFLUENCE! YAAAY! The issue, of course, is that I want to share her conversations about it as well, but I don't want to get confusing. She's going to have more time to read, though. So I'm torn.

Does anybody have any preferences or advice? If desired, I can keep my trap shut about coworker 2 (electric bungaloo) and focus on the one that I have been sharing with all of you. Or I can create separate threads for them, coming up with some sort of quantifier for them. Or... I have no clue.



Source by ErrantVagrant
Mens Hair Styles 2015

Is there music in your world?

I've been working intermittantly on a story for the past 14 months (well, it's up to 80,000+ words, so maybe it's becoming more of a book) which is an exploration of an imaginary world and the nations in it, the principal one of which is simply called "the Land." It's very episodic, a series of connected mini-narratives, rather than bare exposition, because that's just the way my mind works. I'm a storyteller and I think in characters and plot-lnes.

Recently, I got thinking about the place of music in the Land, and I wanted to see how original it might turn out to be. The following short excerpt is what my brain spun out.

Here's the set-up: Thorin Dionlinn is a young accountant/finance specialist from the Republic of Hillmount, posted for a year to his nation's embassy in the Capital of the Land to broaden his experience. The Ambassador takes him along to meet the Lord of the Land at the Citadel shortly after the Lord returns from the summer's military campaign, and Thorin finds himself invited to a reception/party to take place a few days later. He's strolling around the ballroom, wondering how to meet people and trying not to be a wallflower, when his attention is drawn by the sound of musical instruments.


He moved toward the sound of music under an artificial arbor along one wall. A traditional trio was seated on woven cushions, playing traditional tunes on traditional instruments. Well, "tunes" wasn't quite correct. Neither was "composition." The ancient music of the Land -- tagresha, he knew it was called -- was always improvised, at least in theory. There were various expected themes and turns, but nothing was written down and a musician tried never to play exactly the same melody twice. Thorin observed the group with interest. The players gave the impression of being ordinary people who played together for fun, not as virtuosos, nor even as professionals. He wondered if that were affectation, or some sort of reverse snobbery on the Lord's part.

The man in the middle held a sort of flute, though it was larger than the flutes Thorin had seen at home. He was blowing through a double reed at one end, a technique that looked horribly difficult to a non-musician like Thorin. The sound he produced was rich and mournful and reminded Thorin of tall trees in the deep forest.

On one side of the flautist was an older women with some kind of stringed instrument laid across her lap. She was drawing a bow strung with what looked like hair with one hand across the strings while damping and rubbing them with the dancing fingers of her other hand, producing a higher-pitched singing effect in counterpoint to the reeded flute. The two melodies wove around each other in perfect balance.

On the other side, a young man about Thorin's own age was strumming a large, deep-toned instrument, a hollow, round-bodied soundbox with gut strung across it and frets at the neck. Rather than playing a melody, he was laying down a rich bass background for the other two -- a canvas on which the other musicians painted their notes. The whole effect was engrossing, almost hypnotic at times. And it dawned on Thorin that, given the rule against repetition, you couldn't even ask them to play a particular passage again. Catch it now or you would miss it forever. He stood silently, listening, for some minutes.

"Beautiful, isn't it, sir?" He looked up with a start to find a middle-aged woman -- lady, by the rich material of her otherwise plain dress -- watching his face with a warm smile. "I could see you were caught up in the experience. Is this the first time you've heard tagresha?"

"Yes, Madame. I'm from Hillmount and we have nothing like it there. Our music is quite different. I've heard tagresha described, but I never really understood what they were talking about." He slowly shook his head. "When you concentrate on what they're doing, though, . . . well, it's amazing."

They moved aside a stride to allow two newly arrived couples to approach the trio closer. From their rapt faces, Thorin guessed they were devotees of the style. He turned back to his new companion. "Do you think these are the Lord's regular musicians? Do they perform regular concerts somewhere? I'd like to go and hear them again."

"Oh, I don't think so. The woman playing sisser is a cook in the kitchens here. A very good one, too. The gentleman in the center playing the aubum is a greengrocer. Carries the best artichokes in the Capital. The younger one I'm afraid I don't know, but he's a Guardsman posted to the Citadel last season." She smiled again at his obvious surprise. "Tagresh, you see, is often played by trios that come together unexpectedly and unplanned, just as the music itself never repeats. Which means the selection of instruments will vary, too, although there is always a higher voice, a lower voice, and a background voice. Listening to it is always a new adventure. So is playing it."


So. What do you think? I tried to invent names for the instruments that sort of described them by the sound of the words themselves. Obviously, they resemble certain instruments in our own world (the possibilities are physically limited) and you should be able to picture them in your mind (I hope).

The lady who explains the music to him, incidentally, is Madame Prokien, the Lord's Head of Household, and "possibly the second-most powerful person in the Citadel, during peacetime," as a new acquaintance tells him a little while later. And Dionlinn's first experience of tagresha is shortly followed by some much more modern music and the dancing that goes with it, after the Lord and the older generation generally have retired for the evening.

The whole thing, by the way, is available at Google Docs.



Source by emkay99
Mens Hair Styles 2015

Natural Hair || How I do my Marley Braids Protective Style

https://youtu.be/O_4D1C2H4i0

Source by Iammishi101
Mens Hair Styles 2015

[SP - Game] ManaPot, A Free Text-Based MMORPG

Website URL: http://www.ManaPot.com

Hello everyone, I would like to invite you all to try out the text-based MMORPG that I have been working on recently. The game is fairly similar to RuneScape, in the sense that it is something pretty "basic" and easy to play. One of the best things is that it can be played from almost anywhere (as long as you have internet). Computers, phones and tablets are all capable of running the game, although it's mostly optimized for computers (Android & iOS apps coming soon). This game is the perfect game for when you aren't able to do your normal heavy-duty gaming (such as at school, work or while commuting).

  • Create and customize your unique character (gender, skin color, hair style, hair color & background image).
  • Find and create powerful armor, weapons and items as you work towards becoming one of the most powerful players in the game!
  • 19 different skills in the game, with over 125 different actions you can perform.
  • Over 350 unique and different items for you to collect on your adventures.
  • Optional subscription & "cash shop" (cosmetic items).

Anyways, I'm not going to type up a ton of crap here to wall-of-text you to death. I'll include a few screenshots below for anybody who wants to see what it is before checking out the website. Thanks for taking the time to try the game, I would love any feedback you'd like to provide. Good luck and have fun!

Play For Free At:

Screenshots



Source by ManaPot
Mens Hair Styles 2015

24 [R4R] San Diego-ish - Aircraft carrier looking for some kinky planes

Hi. I am a fully constructed aircraft carrier floating off the coast of San Diego. I come equipped with state of the art metal and electronics and navy people. I just need a stable, well built plane to land on me and complete my life. Thanks.

Jk. I'm a 24 yo cracker dude who desires some intimate companionship. Let's see... important info... Well, I bathe on a regular basis, I'm not a crazy rapist pedophile terrorist, I'm not a walking pathogen incubator, and I have a decent body (downside is pale and a bit of a gut, if that's a turn off). I'm about 170cm with brown hair and green eyes. I really enjoy flamboyant non sequitur humor but I'm shy/quiet in person unless we're on the same wavelength. I'm looking for someone with whom to enjoy sexy intimate encounters, a fwb type thing.

I'm attracted to both guys and (trans) gals, but I primarily prefer gals. And preferably someone within a few years of my age. Taller, shorter, skinnier, bigger, I'm good with some range on that. (I'm 160lbs myself, forgot to mention). I also like quirky music like Tool, NIN, Weird Al, metal, and similar styles. Oh yeah duh, and I love games (but play them less so nowadays). So hopeFully we find ourselves mutually interested and close by. I could host most weekdays or drive if less than an hour away.

Thank you for your time.

Edit: PM for more info and pics obviously. Edit 2: I should mention I'm not very experienced so I'd appreciate someone patient enough with that. BUT I can be kinky to a degree.



Source by mobydickwad
Mens Hair Styles 2015

Wanting a new style, would like some help on what would look good!

Hey /r/hair, I'm looking for a new hairstyle, but I'm not quite sure what would look good on me. http://imgur.com/a/1JpDu That's an album of me, the first few pictures are very recent (sorry for the poor quality). I'm working on growing it out right now so I can get a new style.

I have some ideas that I liked, (http://imgur.com/a/Ynhwx) but I'm just not sure if they would work well with my head shape. I'm thinking of going with the side part, and kind of sweeping it over.

Any other advice, what might look better, or just general thoughts? I've posted in /r/malehairadvice with no luck, so I thought I'd give it another shot in a different sub. Thanks in advance!



Source by kspi
Mens Hair Styles 2015

Pixie cut now!!

I really want to cut my hair short, preferably into a pixie cut but what is stopping me is my round face and my pretty big nose. So, before I make my final decision and go to the salon, I want to hear your opinion so pretty please take a look at my photos and tell me what you think. http://imgur.com/NvQKWq7,MxWArxa http://imgur.com/NvQKWq7,MxWArxa#1

this is what I had in mind

http://www.elegancka.pl/app/webroot/files/uploads/9/Pixie%20cut/rbk-cutest-summer-styles-audrey-tatou-lgn.jpg

or this, but I want to keep my haircolor

http://i0.wp.com/therighthairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Pixie-Geldof.jpg?fit=500%2C1500



Source by venail
Mens Hair Styles 2015

Go short or go home?

I really want to cut my hair short, preferably into a pixie cut but what is stopping me is my round face and my pretty big nose. So, before I make my final decision and go to the salon, I want to hear your opinion so pretty please take a look at my photos and tell me what you think. http://imgur.com/NvQKWq7,MxWArxa http://imgur.com/NvQKWq7,MxWArxa#1

this is what I had in mind http://www.elegancka.pl/app/webroot/files/uploads/9/Pixie%20cut/rbk-cutest-summer-styles-audrey-tatou-lgn.jpg

or this, but I want to keep my haircolor http://i0.wp.com/therighthairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Pixie-Geldof.jpg?fit=500%2C1500



Source by venail
Mens Hair Styles 2015