As it goes, this did not happen today, but a few months ago.
I quit smoking weed for a little while after being a frequent smoker. It's friday, and I am at a friends house hanging out with 2 of my boys.
We smoke a bunch of bud, get high as shit, then the munchies ensue and we end up ordering a deep dish pizza from dominos and a big chocolate chip cookie along with some of God's nectar (mountain dew).
We are eating having a good time, watching funny videos like Surveillance man and Fuck her right in the pussy on youtube.
After consuming a few slices of greasy deep dish pizza, some of the sugar loaded cookie, mountain dew and some more weed, I decided to watch a random video which triggered an unfortunate series of events.
I have no idea why I clicked on this video, but the title was something along "Man cuts of womans ass with machete". I click on the video, thinking it's going to be funny, and as soon as I see her with her ass literally sliced off, my body goes into instant panic mode.
My heart starts racing, I break into a sweat and get the feeling like im going to pass out. I actually thought I was dying, which is apparently pretty common with panic attacks. Then I feel the most monstrous, behemoth shit in my stomach i have ever felt in my entire life.
I quickly and inconspicuously walk to the bathroom so my friends don't know im about to pass out and sit on the toilet to take a shit while my panic attack is getting more intense with every moment.
Instead of taking a shit, I let out what I can only describe as a sonic boom out my of my asshole, hear my friends burst out in hysterical laughter in the living room, and next thing I know, I am waking up on the bathroom floor with my pants down after passing out.
tl;dr Got too high, ate dominos, watched gross video, farted a sonic boom then proceeded to faint.
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Submitted by http://www.andro8.com
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