TIFU by watching porn

TIFU by doing something everyone does. But this story is a little more unique than you may think, so grab a bag of microwave popcorn and sit back- you're going to love this one.

I'm going to go right off on the other foot here and note that this actually happened several years ago, and I'm much older now, so by no means did this happen recently. Now a little backstory:

Up until the forefront of this incident, I used to be one of those people who watched porn for the sake of watching porn. They say curiosity killed the cat, but believe me, this pussy is still... rioting.

So anyways, my Dad leaves the house to go and get groceries, and the house is practically empty, and so I think "Here's a good time to go ahead and do a little bit of snooping on 4chan's hentai board."

So there I am, on the couch looking at this really nice hentai pic, and what do you know; I hear the door to the house opening. At this point, a million thoughts are going through my head, so I act quickly, place my iPod behind a pillow and proceed to sit in the most awkward fucking position imaginable.

He looks at me with a confused look, and says "Why are you sitting like that?" I shrug my shoulders. And then he goes right off and says the most perceptive thing: "What are you hiding this time?" ...fuck.

Now at this point, I am basically holding myself against the couch while he is trying to get at the iPod behind the pillow. Obviously he's much stronger than me, so he manages to get to it first. Unlocks the damned thing to find the hentai (should have put a passcode on it), and then he turns at me and gives me the most disgusting fucking look, like he found dog shit or something.

25 minutes later, after a rather heated discussion, he just fucking drops it. And we didn't speak about it again...

for another three months. And believe me, he brings this up at the most opportune time a person could possible conjure.

So it's Christmas, we're all sitting around the tree opening presents. (For the record, I got a t-shirt which directly references everything I love about bacon. I'm wearing it right now.) And my grandma is sitting on the corner of the couch, my cousins and other family members surrounding me. Common family scene, and my dad is having a group convo with everyone. And then:

"Oh, by the way, I caught Sephiroth412 watching porn." DUDE. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. My jaw just dropped. And after a moment of silence, everyone just bursts into laughter, and then we get into a really embarrassing discussion about how all of my family members had watched porn before. Thanks, but I don't really need to know about your past... tendencies.

And yes, I learned my lesson- avoid watching porn in your own home, because your father will ridicule you for it and embarrass you in front of your entire family.

TL;DR: Got caught watching porn, was ridiculed by family, now being more careful where I view porn.

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