TIFU by eating pumpkin pancakes.

So this happened few months back but thought I'd share it with everyone. There's some minor graphic stuff, so beware.

So I went to visit my hometown to see some family and to visit my boyfriend for a few days. Instead of getting a hotel room I stood the night down his house for a few nights. While he was at work I went to visit my father for a bit, we have this tradition where we'd go to IHop and eat pancakes. Well this particular day I wanted to try pumpkin pancakes...bad idea. The pumpkin pancakes where spoiled and I ended up getting food poising. I spent the day with my dad and progressively my stomach started to get worse and worse. By the time my boyfriend got off work I headed back to his place and wasn't feel great. It was a mixture of having to take a massive waterfall shit and puking my dam brains out. I try and ignore it and don't say anything. At this point i'm clenching my ass cheeks to try and make it go away and its not working. Worse part is, my boyfriend was in the mood. I had declined his offer for sex and curled up on his bed feeling like shit. He spent the next few hours giving me hot tea, medicine, ect. I start to run a fever and even get really dazed. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to his bathroom and took the most massive shit of my life. See my issue is, is that i'm a nervous pooper. I can't poop in public places or other people's houses. What sucks even more is that this was my first time meeting his family. And what sucks EVEN MORE THEN THAT is his mom is fucking Chinese. (You can imagine the judgment). So i'm blowing shit up in his bathroom and I start to hurt even more. Not wanting to stick my head where I took a war shit to puke I ended up puking in his sink. Clogging his sink with hash brown and bacon bits. After a good 10 minutes of puking and trying to get the hash brown out of my nose (I puke out of my nose, and its fucking painful). I clean up whatever horrible mess I mad and walk out of the bathroom feeling loads better. Him and his mom are kinda standing there. And i'm thinking "Fucking hell they heard EVERYTHING" Cool thing is, his mom is a nurse. So she gave me a pill and said "Here, put this in your butt. I can do it for you if you want" I declined her offer to put a pill in my ass and did it myself. She re-cleaned the bathroom and he gave me a new shirt to wear to bed.

Tl;dr Ate pumpkin pancakes, got stomach flu, made a mess in boyfriends bathroom from puking and shitting. His mom offered to put a pill in my butt. GREAT WAY TO MEET THE IN LAWS RIGHT?

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