TIFU by throwing dog crap at my fiancée.

Hi Reddit!

TIFU by covering an entire room, and everything (and everyone) in it in the runniest, most disgusting dog crap you can imagine.

To set the scene, the previous morning my puppy, a gorgeous Staffy/Lab cross we found abandoned and re-homed, had gotten into a fresh bag of food. As you can imagine, she gorged herself until she was discovered a few minutes later. She was round as a barrel and, as we later found out, heavily constipated.

How ever many times we took her out, she wouldn't dump her load. All day we tried, until it was time for bed. She sleeps with us and the door to the bedroom is closed to stop her roaming the house. Anyway, during the night I get a poke in the ribs and the missus mumbles "something stinks". Being the early hours of the morning, I mumble something back and go back to sleep.

A few hours later, I wake up to a sheepish looking puppy who's refusing to move from the door. Odd, seeing as she sleeps on the bed. Anyway, I get up to investigate. The second my foot hits the floor, I get it. At the base of the bed, on a towel she'd knocked off a chair, is the smelliest, runniest, most vile shit you can imagine, and I just planted my foot in it.

This is where it gets interesting.

Understandably upset, I turn to my fiancée to warn her of the dangerous floor situation. We talk briefly and I put my foot down to get up. Back in the crap. Now I'm furious. I grab the towel to clean off my foot again, only to put my hand in the shit.

In a fit of rage, I grab the towel and in one swift motion, raise it above my head and fling it back at the floor.

"Really?"

Confused, I turn around to face my fiancée. My loving fiancée, on the morning of our registry appointment, now has a giant brownish green turn running down her face.

I look around the room. The same can be said for the walls, mirror, ceiling, dog, bed, my wallet and phone, tablet, and pretty much anything else in the room.

Sadly, the floor didn't swallow me up. I still wish it had.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

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