NOTE – I do realize I have way too much time on my hands. Philadelphia 76ers Wine Cellar Team
-As in Simmons’ book the exercise here is to build a team. And as in the Book Of Basketball I'm going in a time machine and getting a player by year (Like a bottle of wine!) This exercise will prove difficult as the meat of my roster is filled with guys who weren’t model locker room leaders. Iverson, Barkley, Wilt are probably 3 of the biggest talent/head cases of all time. This team may not be able to shoot but they are talented, crazy and they’re grabbing ALL the rebounds on both sides of the ball.
Starting 5 G- Allen Iverson ’01- 31ppg 4.5apg 2.5spg-NBA MVP- This is Iverson at the peak of his powers. But most importantly this is the year he led his team to the finals; He had to kind-of trusted his teammates this year right? He may not be a true point guard but putting him at the 2 with Mo running the point is just too undersized to play major minutes with. You could argue that ’05 Iverson was a better point (8apg that year) but he also averaged a walloping 4.6 turnovers-per-game that year as well. I’ll take ’01 MVP Iverson who will somewhat listen to his coach (we will get to that) who can maybe convince him to be like a bouncier, tatted-up Isiah Thomas on this team???
G- Andrew Toney ’84- 20.4ppg 4.8apg 52FG%- The Boston Strangler’s best statistical season. Perfect player for this team as he was an all-time great role player. Gives team versatility if they want to go big or small and he can defend multiple positions. Knows his role perfectly (unlike-what most-of this team-most likely will)
SF- Doc ’82 24-7 54% - This is the year before the Sixers won the title but Doc was a great teammate. Everybody loved playing with him, this was his most efficient year and he slid in perfectly the next year with Moses. He’d be the perfect second or third option for this squad. AI, DOC, AND RUNAWAY TRAIN CHARLES ON A FAST BREAK OMG
PF- Barkley ’86 20.0ppg 12.8rpg 4apg 3.8stocks per game- Now this is nowhere near Barkley’s best statistical season but remember you get everything with these guys. In ’86 it wasn’t quite Barkley’s team yet. Doc and Moses were still hanging around at least attempting to keep Sir Charles in line. I’d love out-of-control 28-12 Barkley in ‘88 but that Charles was an ALPHA, we already have one in ’01 Iverson and have 2 more coming (spoiler alert). 1986 version of Barkley was at his peak athleticism, notching nearly 13 boards a game along with over a block and a half a game (at 6’6!) So give me full blown freak-athlete Barkley who isn’t quite the all-around player he’d become, instead of peak Barkley who would be brawling with my point guard in the locker room.
(Side note- Teams are playing like a tight 2-3 zone against this team right? Nobody can shoot outside. Doc and Toney each shot less than ½ a 3psg, while Iverson and Barkley each shot 3’s neither were ever average at them.)
*C-Wilt Chamberlain ’67- 24-24-8apg- You were thinking the 50ppg season right? Thing is that Wilt was a complete ball hog that only cared about his stats that year and we need a team. Wilt could still dominate but this is the year that he finally put the team first and they won a championship! (THE SECRET) We don’t need one player putting up 50ppg, we already have a black hole dribbling the ball up every time! 1967 Wilt gives us great rebounding, defense and passing. We could basically run the offense through him in the high post. Plus and AI and Wilt pick and roll game would be pretty insane right?
(But let’s be honest the offense is going to be Allen throwing up bricks and Chuck, Wilt, and Moses snagging up ALL THE OFFENSIVE BOARDS)
SIXTH MAN *C-Moses Malone ’83 24-15 – I gave ’67 Wilt the nod because he was more athletic and a better passer but pretty much same gist. The best offensive rebounder of all time in his prime, ho-hum. You’re getting rebounds outlet passes and a lot of hard-earned points.
- This team is dominating the inside against ANY wine-cellar team. Better so than Boston by a hair (deal with it Simmons) LA (Moses dominated Kareem in the finals, he’d be able to at least cancel out Shaq and Sixers Wilt > Lakers Wilt) Hou- (Wilt, Moses and Barkley would wear down Hakeem eventually and Moses would freak out Yao with his grunting, mumbling and one or two hard fouls.)
REST OF THE BENCH G- Mo Cheeks ’83 12-7ast – As with a lot of players on this team I didn’t choose this players best season stats-wise. I picked the championship Mo because he drove that Luxury-car in 1983 and didn’t screw anything up. And this is team is a delicate sports car! Cheeks did a masterful job engineering the 1983 team and that’s all I really want from him on this team. Just being a peacemaker and making sure everything sails smoothly. He could also help space the floor with his three point shooti.... ah fuck I tried. (Went 1-6 from 3 in 1983, like the whole season)
F- Billy Cunningham ’69 26 -13- Stats were obviously inflated for that time period but could still be a good spell for Charles. They are actual eerily similar in size and rebounding prowess.
F- Bobby Jones ’82 14-5- 3.8 stocks, 56fg! – A good instant offense off the bench, literally the same role he had on the 83 team. Extremely efficient.
(Quick Confession: Until doing the Wine Cellar Sixers I had no idea who-was-who between Jones and Cunningham. I’m only 23 and I swear tons of punk-kids prolly mixed these two up as well. I mean both were white forwards from UNC and both were Sixth men on championship Sixer teams WAAYY before I was born! ON top of that one of em coached the other one right? ) {Billy Cunningham will be an assistant simply so he can coach himself} [ Three different kinds of sidebars!....I’d love to coach myself I’d give advice then sneak in gambling hints Back-to-The-Future 2 style, “Always play with heart Chris! Just like the ’08 Giants did in the Super Bowl against the Pats wink]
GF- Doug Collins ’76- 21ppg 51fg%- This was Collins’ best year along with his last fully healthy season. People forget he was a #1 overall draft pick. Very good all-around offensive player who could play the 2 or 3.
We also have a nice keep-the-peace 4-some with Cheeks, Cunningham, Jones and Dougie. (Until Iverson goes 7-28 in a game against the Wine Cellar Celtics and Russell convinces Wilt to become the focal point. Which then pisses off Moses who bitches to Charles who then………this would get out of control quick) {Other interesting Wine Cellar Teams that people should do +Lakers- All the Big Men, Magic, West , Kobe
+Celts- Russell, Garnett, Bird, Hondo, Cousy starting 5? YIKES +GSW- Hardaway, Spree, Mullins, Webber, Curry, could Baron Davis make the team?!?! +DET- Isiah, Dumars, Dantley, Healthy Grant Hill, Rasheed, Chauncey, BEN WALLACE, LAIMBEER AND RODMAN! I hate them already. +OKC/Seattle (my fave) - Durant, Westbrook, Kemp, Gary Payton, Ray Allen, Little beard Harden!
GF- Kyle Korver ’07 14ppg 43% from 3- WE NEED ONE FUCKING SHOOTER OKAY!!
G- Andre Iguodala ’11 12-6-5 39% from 3- Iggy gives us some nice versatility as he too can guard and play multiple positions. He is a poor man’s Scottie Pippen and again WE NEED SOME SORT OF SHOOTERS. He is basically doing on this team what he is being asked to do now in Golden State (versatility, hustle, some threes, great in transition offense and defense)
Now look I didn’t put Hal Greer on I know but how many pre-merger guys can you have? As Simmons writes in his book the NBA just wasn’t the same back then and I already have 2.5 guys already (Collins as the half) I’ll take Iguodala over Greer, you can’t tell me Iggy being the athlete he was wouldn’t be able to put up 20-25ppg in the 60’s against slow white guys? Cause I think he DEFINETLY could. If you really want you can have Greer as your 12th but nobody really plays all 12 in the NBA anyways.
+Coaches, Strategy HC- Larry Brown ’01- This is the year Iverson and Brown got along the best. So Brown is basically my off-the-rails insurance on AI. I’m banking heavy on a younger Charles, with Moses and Doc on the team, and determined Wilt to not go off the rails. (BIG BET) But Brown is a great coach who has coached everywhere and is/will be respected.
Assistant- Cunningham- Mostly for the hilarious purposes but the ’83 guys will all listen/respect him as well. Starting 5- AI, Toney, Doc, Chuck, Wilt (in case you forgot)
Second Unit- Cheeks, Korver/Collins, Iggy, Cunningham, Moses - Jones is end of quarter 2-1 guy
Going Big- Iggy/Toney, Collins/Korver, Doc/Chuck, Wilt, Moses- Some actual spacing in the Big lineup!
Going Small- Cheeks, AI, Iggy/Korver, Chuck/Jones, Wilt/Cunningham 7 seconds or less offense small-AI, Iggy/Toney, Korver, Doc, Chuck- Mike D’Antoni has a semi
Pressing D- AI, Toney, Iggy, Chuck, Wilt
Cooler- AI, Collins , Korver, Jones, Moses / Didn’t realize how good of a FT shooter Moses was for a big man 76% career
Strategy- With no real shooters (I’ve reminded you a lot I know) we basically have to pound and ground it with AI and the big men down low. The team is getting buckets 3 ways- In transition with two of the best ever (Dr.J and Charles), letting AI do his thing with Moses/Wilt clean up the messes and finally just throwing it in to Moses or Wilt and running stuff out of the post. Also I need to point out one more time that our team is grabbing like EVERY. SINGLE. REBOUND. You have rebounders of every shape and size. (Tall and Athletic: Wilt - Tall, Chunky and Unathletic: Moses – Short, Chunky and Athletic- Charles and White-Cunningham)
It definitely isn’t as pretty as Simmons’ Wine Cellar team and I wouldn’t feel super confident playing Martians for the sake of humanity but maybe we could take some Neptunians for the rights to Pluto?
Source by ChrissyCurveball
Mens Hair Styles 2015
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