I was vacationing in Anaheim with a friend last year and as all good tourists do, we bought a two day pass for Disneyland/California Adventure Park. The first day went off without a hitch, we were at Disneyland from opening to close - and being students traveling on a budget we chose not to eat the expensive theme park food, but instead eat on our way back to the hotel. As we left Disneyland we were starving and like some beacon sent from God, we saw the sign beckoning us to a $12 buffet right across the road. This may not seem amazingly cheap to you guys, but being Australian - a $12 buffet is like seeing a unicorn, especially not having eaten all day.
The buffet seemed slightly sketchy, like all the staff had stopped giving a shit this late at night. The buffet was also, in hindsight, alarmingly chicken-centric. But like the naive youth we were, we charged blindly into the unknown.
The next day, on the way to Disneyland - my stomach and I were both firmly rooted in struggletown, but knowing I may never be back in Anaheim - I pushed on. I vomited on the walk there, but I brushed it off as a one-off event. It was not.
The first (and what would be the only) ride I went on was Hollywood Tower - which basically straps you into a chair and takes you up a ridiculous height and drops you, not the most stomach friendly ride. It took everything I had not to blow chunks upon the families populating the ride with me and upon completing the ride, I had to literally push past said families to vomit into a garden bed. However, I am no quitter and I valiantly/stupidly pushed on, I was determined to have a fun day.
This was when my stomach contents informed me it was no longer happy only coming from one orifice, and I had to rush to the toilet. At this point, I decided to cut my losses and go back to the hotel. However, as I walked out of the toilet block - the urge to vomit hit me real hard and I turned to my left and vomited, left with no time to aim it. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that I had not just vomited, I had vomited on the lower half of a child. Before I could gather my thoughts, the urge to vomit hit me again and this time I aim for the bin - a bin that, I would soon realise, had a cover on it and this caused my high velocity vomit to splash back and hit me directly in the face. In all the commotion, adding insult to injury - I realize I have lost all control of my sphincter, and I had shat myself in spectacular fashion.
The worst part, I had to walk the ten minutes back to the hotel because no one would take me back.
tl:dr - went to a cheap buffet, got food poisoning, went to Disneyland, vomited on a small child and shat myself.
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