TIFU by trying to learn about our country's history.

TIFU.. well actually this was yesterday but it's been within 24 hours so I'm counting it as today.

Anyway, I was down in South Carolina for a fun work convention. I was enjoying my days there, but didn't get to see much of Charleston. Yesterday was our last day. We checked out of the hotel at 11, and didn't have to be at the airport until 4.

Okay, cool. There are some cool old military bases down there, so we thought we'd go check out Fort Moultrie. It was pretty cool. Giant cannons, old gun powder rooms, etc. I enjoyed it, and it was definitely worth the $3 admission.

Anyway, we go straight from Fort Moultrie to the Charleston Airport. Return the rental car, and get in line for TSA. I like those full body scanners because they're quick and easy, and dont... usually... require a pat down.

The full body scanner detected a "hot area" on my ass. The agent asked if I forgot anything in my back pocket, and patted it down. Nothing.

I had to step to the side and they swabbed my hand and put the swab in some weird machine. It beeped and a big red bar appeared that said "EXPLOSIVES DETECTED."... what the fuck. I was scared shitless. They tested my pants, same thing.

They pulled me even more to the side and one guy gave me a nice sensual feel down while another agent unpacked both of my bags, which were extremely tight, and tested several things for explosive residue. They didnt find anything, and I was released. The whole thing took ~20 minutes, and I got to my flight right as it was boarding.

Thank god nothing serious happened, but I was scared shitless the entire time.

So, here's a tip nobody else will tell you. Don't go to a military fort, where you'll be touching and sitting on things that have been around explosives, before going to an airport. Unless you want to experience the entirety of the TSA.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by posing as a mentally challenged individual

So as most TIFU posts go this didn't actually happen today it was several years ago but I only recently joined reddit and this post is only allowed on weekends via rule 3. So I'm a 24 year old white male now and this happened when I was around 16-17 years old. Small amount of background: I had recently landed my first "real" girlfriend (WOO!) and boy was she a keeper. Smokin' hot, older Puerto Rican, in with the cool people (cause, you know, things like that mattered in high school) and I was envied by all the other guys in school. Naturally since she's my first girlfriend, let's call her "Latisha", and we're in high school we explore with sex since we were both virgins. It was fucking awesome. We did the nasty anywhere we could, my friend's bedroom, in my truck behind a middle school at nighttime, in the park, wherever! And eventually, being horny little bastards really bit us (namely me) in the ass (FU INCOMING..). So we're at a regional fair that attracts a SHIT load of people every year from all over the country. We luckily attend on what seems to be the busiest fucking day in its history. DOESN'T CHANGE A THING! As stated previously, we're horny bastards and get down wherever possible. So why not a crowded fair? We try to isolate the least busy women's restroom; yes a public restroom. We find one and scout it for at least 20 minutes. Not a SINGLE woman enters the restroom. So Latisha makes sure the inside is clear and when it is I saunter in, we pick a stall and get right down to it. I shit you not, 15 seconds in, someone walks into the restroom. In my mind I'm like "REALLY?! 20 FUCKING MINUTES OF NO ACTIVITY AND NOW SOMEONE HAS TO PISS/SHIT?!" Needless to say I was infuriated. From this point on, the bathroom was was occupied by someone other than us for AT LEAST 30 minutes. I was sitting on the john, she was crouched uncomfortably behind me with her feet up off the floor and we were both silently bickering cause we saw no plausible way out of this predicament. Until, of course, I generated a master plan. whispering "Latisha, why don't we.....pretend I'm mentally challenged! And you were just helping me use the restroom, you know, as my caretaker!" She's all "We could just pretend you're gay or something, that might make more sense." Me, "No, no, no, mentally challenged is good, let's do this." So what followed was just an awful experience. Instead of just bossing it right outta the bathroom we really did pretend I was mentally challenged starting from behind the door of the stall. She basically ANNOUNCES "Okay Kyle it's time to flush!" So we do and we emerge from the stall to an already stunned and staring group of women and children. I'm dressed nicely, well groomed with my hat slightly tilted cause I was a baller, and yet I'm guided to the sink by Latisha where we proceed to wash my hands, for obligatory care taking affect. "Okay Kyle get some soap, good boy. Now let's wash our hands!" I then begin to "play" with the soap while dawning a dorky facade and whining when she tries to direct me to do it the right way. I can feel the glares BURNING into my skull like a permanent tattoo of disagreement and disgust. Latisha guides me out of the bathroom, I hold character for a few paces after the bathroom and we break into a full sprint after that. The amount of shame and embarrassment I felt lasted all day and I felt the need to throw up any time we passed a restroom after that.

TL;DR Horny couple, crowded state fairs and public restrooms lead to posing as mentally challenged to escape ending in eternal embarrassment and shame.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU with a vibrating sex toy.

A few months back I decided it to be a great idea to buy a Clone Your Willy kit from Spencer's so I could make a real life replica of my junk for my girlfriend. The kit comes with some molding material and most specifically a fleshy colored vibrating mini penis that goes inside the molding. The whole arts and crafts project turned out disastrous so I ditched the idea and cleverly decided the best place (other than the garbage) to store the sole survivor of the kit, the vibrator, would be under my mattress.

A few weeks later I was forced to move to another location two states away with only a single bag of clothes in my possession. My wonderful and overly helpful family took the Easter holiday gathering to team up and pack my belongings up for me as I couldn't make it back home and haven't been there since I left.

When my belongings arrived, I was thrilled. One night it immediately dawned on me the dildo was under the mattress. My mattress is now in my new apartment. There is no dildo. Where is the dildo? Someone or many someone's found that dildo that day in front of my entire family. Nary a word has been spoken of this incident but I can only presume my entire family now thinks I'm gay.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by dropping my phone.

I was texting my crush and typed out something I never had any intention of sending (basically telling her how I felt in a shitty metaphor pertaining to what we were talking about). The car I was in at the time hit a bump, and I dropped my phone. To my horror, when I picked it up again I saw that the message sent. This is gonna go over well...

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by being a clumsy hugger

I hugged my friend at church then went to hug his wife and twatted her cup of coffee onto the floor. The end

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by going on an amusement ride with my coworkers, drunk.

I've been living in Germany for a year now and in the job for 2 months. We went to the annual Frühlingsfest (think Oktoberfest but smaller) and the company were paying for the drinks, so naturally I drank a lot.

I'd eaten a huge meal before I went, as the last two times I've been have been on an empty stomach. Blackouts, broken phones and no memory of getting home whatsoever followed, so this time I planned ahead. This plan failed miserably.

When we decide to leave, we went on one of the many rides they have in the festival. Although my memory of this ride is a bit blurry, I think it was one where you sit in and it spins around really fast, sticking you to the seat. However, in my drunken state, I forgot to pull the thing to hold you in down, and ended up falling on to the floor and I'll tell you, it was no fun. I was sliding all over the place and trying to stand up to get back in to a seat, but currently lacked the motor functions, or any functions for that matter after drinking 6 litres of German beer, so I'd fall over again and go sliding across this huge wet floor. Not the best moment of my life by any means.

Although my memory of this isn't the best, I do remember sliding around getting soaking wet, as well as my co-workers helplessly looking on in horror and amusement. I'm now covered in cuts and bruises and I managed to lose my keys, which meant I had to sleep outside my front door until the next morning when the landlady could let me in.

I'm really looking forward to work tomorrow, but hopefully my coworkers (two of which were the owners son's I might add) would see the funny side. Here's to hoping🍻

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by forcing my friend to have a party [NSFW]

Alright so I posted this a while ago, but because it wasn't the weekend it got deleted and most of the Fuck ups have been blows jobs lately, so I thought I'd try again.

So my friend Dave's parents were heading out of town, my friends and I were pressuring him to host a party while they were gone. Finally after convincing him we would do all the clean up afterwards and ensuring there would be a solid turn out (we weren't the coolest of 19 year olds), he agreed to have it.

The party was a complete success, there were women, everyone got shittered, nothing broke and it was overall a great time. The party ends at around 3am and my friends Tom, Glen and I are cleaning up as promised. Flash forward an hour and Tom heads out to the 24/7 convenience store because his drunken self is starving. Glen is wondering around looking for Dave and I am completely drunk and begin to pass out somewhere on the kitchen floor.

I hear Glen banging on a door and trying to open/break it down. I head upstairs and Glen believes Dave is passed out in the bathroom. The fuck up? We unlock the door. The first thing that hits us is the smell. I have never smelt anything that bad in my entire life, I begin to gag on the spot and feel the alcohol in my stomach churn. In the bathroom, passed out, is the biggest fucking black naked guy I have ever seen, along with shit everywhere. And I mean everywhere! The sink, the tub, the floor, the wall, toilet set. Everywhere, mixed with vomit and spilled alcohol. The smell and scene are too much and Glen and I book it downstairs.

We start freaking out, who the fuck is this guy? You clean up that shit! What is Dave gonna do? Wait where is Dave? And then we hear it. Footsteps walking around upstairs, I guess our yelling woke him up. Glen crawls to the top of the stairs trying to stay hidden and see's him walking into a bedroom. Dave's bedroom. We quickly follow. The guy grabs the white covers on the bed which reveals Dave passed out underneath like a proper drunk. Glen says " fuck, why didn't I look for him in his room" We turn on the lights and see the man is also covered in shit and begins to lie down on the bed and cuddle with Dave. Just as he gets settled the man bolts upright, Glen says "You alright bro?" he replies "Gonna yak". I grab a garbage bin from the room and shove it infront of him. He grabs it, throws it at me, and vomits all over Dave's bed and wall. At this point Dave wakes up with a "Who the fuck..?" Glen and I grab him and run out of the room. The bathroom door has been left open and the smell is emanating throughout the house, I cant hold it down anymore and can feel the alcohol coming up and I can see and smell shit and vomit from everywhere. I run outside feeling like I am going to throw up and see Tom on the front porch sitting down eating a burrito. He takes the first bite and brown beef/beans squeeze's out all over his face. I fall on the floor vomit all over the porch.

Everyones drunk and tired at this point and nobody wants to clean the bathroom or go in the bedroom, so despite Dave's protest we call it a night. When we wake the man, and he doesn't remember anything. We explain to him what happened, he's actually a really nice guy and cleans up everything and buys Dave a new mattress because of the shit stains on it. I still regret opening that bathroom door and hope the stench doesn't stay with me forever. TL;DR. My friend had a party and some random naked guy shit himself all over the bathroom and my friends bed.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by jizzing while asleep (NSFW I think)

I didn't know where to post this so I thought /r/TIFU would like it (maybe?)

So today morning I decided to go to the bathroom (as I always do) and when I got my penis out it was covered in something sticky. At first I was confused, but then I realized what I had done.

I tried to think what had made me do this. I didn't watch any videos or anything (the only thing I did do was stay up until 3 am playing Mario Kart 8) so I was seriously confused.

The first thing I did was to get it clean. I went into the shower and washed it like crazy (I made sure it all went down the drain) then I cleaned everything that had somehow fallen onto the floor. I even got a rubbish bag and threw away the clothes I was wearing.

My parents also organized a barbecue so I'm going to have bad thoughts about what people can smell. Oh god someone help me

TL;DR: Mario Kart 8 makes me jizz while asleep.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by ending up in a hospital on a Tinder date

This happened last Cinco de Mayo, so in the spirit of the anniversary, here's how things went downhill fast. Last year when Tinder was new and fun I made an account and started accumulating matches. Skip ahead to cute girl who I match with that we'll call Sara. Sara lives about an hour away and we make plans to meet at her place and go get some food to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Perfect recipe to get a little tipsy and have some fun. So I'm not completely wasted, I decide to order a sampler of taquitos, tacos, chips, and a few other things I can't remember. Fast forward a couple hours and we're ready to go back to her place for fun tinder things.. You know. Everything goes fine and I wake up in her bed the next morning, not wanting to have driven home drunk, it seemed like a smart move. This is where it gets ugly

Having been drinking the night before, I carefully slide out of bed to go to the bathroom which is across the hall. At this point, it was just a long pee from drinking, but I noticed my abdomen was pretty distended, which is strange because my abs are normally flat. I slide back into bed and try to go to bed when my stomach starts to ache a bit. I brush it off thinking it's just being hungover and eating like crap all night. A few more minutes and it hits me That I need to take a dump... And it isn't going to wait. I ninja slide out of the bed, careful to not wake her and get in the bathroom and immediately light a candle and blast the fan. As Montezuma would have on Cinco de Mayo, his revenge was fast and brutal. After pissing out of my ass for several minutes I feel disgusting already, so I decided a shower was the best choice. I shower up, feeling cleaner, but my stomach seems to have gotten even bigger since round 1. I dry off and slip back into bed and close my eyes. A few minutes pass and the stomach is roaring and is getting quite painful. I leap out of bed, waking her at this point, and run to the bathroom. Fortunately, my buttcheeks hit the toilet seat just in time, unfortunately, my body decides I have to puke at the same time. Reaching for anything to throw up in, I puke into the lit candle and manage to get the rest in the sink, which was reachable distance if I leaned far enough off the toilet. After settling down a bit, I shower again and go back to her bedroom where she's awake. I explain I'm not feeling well and try to play it off and keep her out of the bathroom. That didn't work so well.

Round 3 hits me, more puke this time than anything and no water or medicine is staying down. Eventually there was nothing but stomach acid and foam coming up and it would be difficult to breathe for minutes at a time as the dry heaving and vomiting happened with more frequency. Eventually according to her I passed out on her floor, likely from dehydration and lack of oxygen.

When I open my eyes I'm in the back of an ambulance and sit up to see Sara driving in the car behind the ambulance. It's at this point I realize I've destroyed this girls bathroom and am getting a nice hospital visit out of it. Once I recover, I stay the night to feel better before driving home.

The best part is you think I wouldn't get a second date, but it was after the second date that she stopped talking to me.

Pardon any format mistakes, still new to all this.

TL;DR Ate Mexican on a tinder date, slept over, shit and puked and destroyed her bathroom, ended up in hospital.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU and purchased the wrong channel

Not a throwaway account cause I'm not super embarassed.

 

Obligatory "this didn't happen today" but yesterday my buddy was hyping up this big "Fight of the Century" thing that was supposed to be going down. Like any good friend, I figured I'd front the bill on the channel and he could just pay me back for it later.

 

We must have got the wrong channel though! Don't get me wrong, even though my friend got super depressed I thought it was pretty cool watching some guy run a Nascar-styled marathon, going lap for lap in what had to be the smallest track I've ever seen. They even had to put up ropes to keep the guy in the ring as he raced around! Must have not been enough excitement for regulars though, because believe it or not there was also another guy who just kind of kept punching the runner. To his credit the runner just kept blocking and running - I mean occasionally he threw a punch because who wouldn't ya know? - until he had completed so many laps I'd lost count. I did find it silly that they had to have judges at the end to declare him the winner though, I mean, he was the only one running the marathon...

 

Anyway! Seems my bud didn't find this as cool as I did, since he just sat there with a look of disappointment and kept shaking his head. I'm thinking next time I will have to be way more careful buying stuff on the TV... I doubt my bud is going to pay me back after such a screwup.

TLDR; Must have bought the wrong channel. Even though I found it kind of cool, I don't think my friend will be paying me back for it.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by telling the truth at the Doctor's office

Let me preface this by saying that I have chronic pain and have had it for six years.

Last month I had a terrible experience with my 2nd primary care physician (let's call him Dr.G) since moving away from my primary of five years. My new insurance doesn't cover him so I only see him sometimes because I have to pay out of pocket. The bad experience happened during my April appointment with Dr. G when he didn't show up to work for two hours. I had to wait not only the two hours but another hour for him to see the earlier scheduled patients. He gruffly called me to his office and felt like shit. I almost passed out that morning and my pain level was high. He has been my primary since November of last year. He's not a talker but whatever -- as long as he gets me referrals to my specialists and my meds I'm fine with it. Would I prefer an amazing doctor? Of course but you can't have everything.

He asks me why I was on xyz pain medication. He asks this after giving me physical prescriptions of xyz since November and is now just curious? Wtf?! Why hasn't he read my medical history? Why doesn't he know about my multiple surgeries and diagnoses? I'm trying to ask him but he either replies with "right right" or takes phone calls and speaks about other patients in front of me. Apparently he gives no fucks about hippa.

Turns out he only requested my medical records once and failed to request them again from my previous doctor or myself. During our first meeting I told him that I have all of my medical records. I asked again if he would like me to bring them next time and he responds while facing his computer saying, "right right." He then takes another call. And I fucking lost it. I tell him that he needs to apologize for being late, for taking phone calls in front of me and being uncompassionate. He tells me basically I need to get a new primary care physician because he's only going to give me "basic service." Apparently I'm a car in need of an oil change. He gives me my xyz prescription of pain medication and I make calls that day to my insurance company to get a new primary care physician.

On Tuesday I call up his office and request my refill and let them know I'm going to be switching primary care physicians per Dr. G's suggestion. The office staff says as long as the Doctor approves the refill it's fine and to follow up on Thursday. I call on Thursday and ask if the script will be ready for Friday at the location near my house. It will be. Great.

So here is where I fucked up on this past Friday:

The woman at the front desk has me sign a copy of the script then gives me the prescription. My name is spelled wrong like it has been for the last five scripts. She tells me that she'll have to have the Doctor fix it. This is a lie because she's fixed it every time I've gone there with my name misspelled. Then she asks me why I'm not seeing a pain specialist. I'm flabbergasted because it's none of her fucking business. She isn't my nurse or physician. I tell her anyways that the in-group pain specialist doesn't help with my diagnoses and the doctor is aware of this. Then she asks what I will be doing next month for my pain. (I've been on xyz medication, stronger doses actually and have worked hard with physical therapy and surgeries to reduce the dosages along with even eliminating two other medications reserved mostly for cancer patients.) Being the stupid honest person I am I tell her that I won't be needing Dr. G next month because I found a new primary care physician like he told me to. So she stares as me like Satan and gloriously rips the prescription from my hand. I reach back for it and she fucking SHREDS MY PRESCRIPTION and tells me because I have a new primary they don't have to treat me.

Holy fuck! I was so fucking angry I told her to get her supervisor immediately. She calls her boss and snottily says what happened thinking her boss would be on her side. She was WRONG. The boss says she can have Dr. G write me a script for how many days until I see my new Doctor. The woman hangs up with chagrin on her face for a few seconds then smugly she tells me that Dr. G isn't in yet and they have no idea when he will be in. By this time I'm seeing red and visualizing climbing up over her desk and throttling her. The nurses hear me asking loudly why she was treating me like this and all of them are wide eyed with embarrassment. Mind you this woman looks like a meth-head with sores and scratches (that are not excema or psoriasis) all up and down her arms. She definitely is doing some shit and should not be working with patients.

I ask her for her name and she tells me only her first name so I ask for her last. I say that since she has my last name I should have hers so I can report her to my insurance company and the Doctor to the medical board. She tells me that she has my name because I'm her patient (Oh!! So I'm their patient now but not when she was shredding my script?)

She tells me that I can wait to see Dr. G for my new script and by this time I'm furious and tell her that I switched Doctor's not only because he told me to but because he's an egotistical ass. Then she replies, "just try seeing how inclined he is to helping you with that attitude." I just turned around and walked out because I didn't feel like going to jail because of this cunt.

tldr; I told the truth about getting a new Doctor and the front desk employee shredded my prescription.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU for fondling the wrong panties

This happened last August.

My wife was having her parents over from another state for a few weeks. One this particular day, my wife (Alice) and her mother had just come back from a shopping spree and and plenty to show for it.

I noticed a pink Victoria's Secret bag on the counter so I made a beeline over to see what new lingerie my woman had scored.

A laced bra and undergarments, my favorite!

Being the smooth joker I am, I pulled them out and waved them in the air with pure giddy delight, saying "Oh Alice, you shouldn't have!".

Alice: "MyPasswordIsTricky... those aren't mine."

...Oh.

TL;DR: I purloined the wrong loin-wear.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

Tifu by going on a tinder date

I was more active on tinder the last few weeks, I matched with a girl and we instantly hit it of. She said she was the same age as me, 20. So we met today, she was 15. Damn.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by getting to high :3

Obligatory this didn't happen today but several months ago. Me and my buddys are all in our first year of high school, we all have pretty good grades decently popular and love gaming. We also love smoking weed.... So heres where the fuck up begins, my friend calls me and tells that he has some straight medical shit and we need to smoke because its almost a out of body experience. So me being the dumb teenager i am i accept the offer and we all head over to our usual smoking house. Now the house we were in has a tree house out back that we always hotbox. Note : this kids house we were in his parents are super Christian So we think there asleep and we start smoking. It went... AMAZING highest I've ever been so we dicked around and ate food and fell asleep. I wasn't worried about my clothes smelling because i usually get picked dup by my mom later in the after noon and knew i had time to put my shit through the washer. Well this time my mom texts me at 8 in the morning sayings she's on her way. Begin frantic fumbling for all my belongings while still burnt out as fuck. I manage to pack everything up but i still smell like shit. So i grab a stick of deodorant and start wiping myself down like crazy, well now Im even more in trouble because theres giant white streaks everywhere on my clothes. Well as the kids say: YOLO, as im waiting outside for my ride i quickly realize how desperate my situation is so like any intelligent sober kid would do i start rolling around in the snow to try to take the smell off. And thats where my parents find me rolling in snow high as fuck reeking of weed. Needless to say i got grounded for months.

tl;dr.. Hot-boxed a treehouse, got to high and got caught.

Sorry for mistakes fist post ever, long time lurker.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by trying to walk and lose weight

My wedding is in September and I've been trying to drop a few pounds by changing my diet(Cut out soda, not eating out as much) and walking. As most TIFU's this actually happened on Friday. My S.O. was at work and I had the day off so I thought it would be a great day to walk 3-5 miles. So I start walking, and I am surrounded by houses and people out and about so it makes for a more interesting walk. And after about 2 miles I come to 10th street so I turn and start walking down there.

I've never walked down 10th before but it seemed pretty interesting, I passed a couple schools but it was pretty void of any houses. As I walk further I come to farms, I live in a small town of about 35,000 outside a larger town of 128,000 in Iowa so farms were not unusual but not something I wanted to see on my walk.

Once I saw the first farm I knew I was in trouble, because I didn't recognize any street names and I pretty quickly admitted I was lost. This was 7 miles into the walk. When I walk I make sure my phone is fully charged because I have my bluetooth earphones in and my walking app uses GPS so it wears out battery quick. I text my S.O. that I'm lost and she's quick to point out that my phone has GPS and to use Google maps. I didn't want to do that and chance my walking app screwing up and not recording my walk because it was fighting with Google maps.

After a few minutes I realized that RunKeeper shows me where I'm at on a map. I use that to map out a way to get home and after 11.5 miles of walking I was finally home. My S.O. also pointed out that I could have called a cab. While I didn't have my wallet on me I'm sure they would have waited for me to get my card, I'm stubborn and don't give up too easily and for me calling a cab would have been like giving up.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by not properly ejecting my USB flashdisk

this FU happened less than an hour ago. I was copying a file from my laptop to my USB flashdisk, so that i could plug it into my family's desktop, so that i could print it. aftr copying from laptop --> USB, i plugged out my USB stick out without clicking the "safely remove hardware" thing. after plugging it in to my family's desktop, a window popped up and says "please insert a disk to removable disk (E:). first i tought that my desktop's usb ports are faulty, so i plugged it in to my laptop again, and the same thing occured. TL;DR: USB stick got broken because i did not properly eject it.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by visiting my ex.

My ex and I were actually good friends before we started dating. We dated last year for a little while and I ended up breaking up with him before moving away for 8 months. When I was about to move back, he emailed me and I ignored it. We've run into each other a few times and have mutual friends. He text me a few days ago, and he invited me to a friends place tonight. We hugged a few times, and he said he missed me a lot, pulled back and said like a person, a good friend. I guess I felt something again, and I wish I hadn't. I think he was making it clear he felt nothing. Ouch.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by unintentionally being a creep

It happened this morning, I ate a very nice breakfast and drank fresh squeezed red orange juice. After that I went to my car and drove to work. The weather was great, sun was shining, almost no clouds, no wind, perfect. In such moments I like to open my windows and listen to radio quite loud (but not asshole loud, fyi).

So, here I am, waiting on red light, listening to radio and enjoying my day. The song was Hot Chocolate - Sexy thing. I was a little day-dreaming, thinking about something.

Then I realized, I'm licking my lips, very slowly, because I still felt that great juice I drank, and I could still taste it a little around my mouth.

Here comes the bad part. I did it for around 30 - 40 seconds, subconscious, looking at the same spot, which happened to be just above the head of an elder lady, who was waiting at pedestrian crossing. She was probably looking at me the whole time I licked my lips, slowly... While this song is playing.

Duuun dun dun DUN DUN duuuuuuuun.

That was just ridiculous. I didn't know what to do when it came to my mind what I'm doing, so I just smiled to her.

She smiled back. Maybe it wasn't such a fuck up after all.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by making a girl go unconscious (NSFW)

This happened back in February but I haven´t gotten around to post this earlier

Here is the story about how I made a girl go unconscious with only pure intentions:

So I was invited to this huge party near my house that was arranged by one of my great friends. I went there, took some shots with my friends and had a great time. But after a while I realized that it was time for my "girl hunt". So I look for some girls that look cute and all of that. And after a few minutes I get into a talk with two girls and we find out that we have mutual friends and that kind of keeps the conversation going. The prettiest of the two girls (a solid 8/10) tells she has given one of our mutual friends a bj. Let´s call the lucky guy "Tyrone". Tyrone is important to my fuckup later on. The two girls share a expensive bottle of wine with me and we get pretty drunk. They drag me on to the dancefloor and I proceed to kiss them both. After our kissing I leave them for around twenty minutes to get back to my friends to celebrate that my "girl hunt" was indeed an succesful one.

Now here is where the fuckup begins:

So I walk back to the two girls and we talk a bit before the prettiest one drags me upstairs to the first floor. She asks me if I want to have some funny time with her all the while fumbling with a condom. Drunk me rejects her and tells her that kissing is a much better idea. We lay in a conveniently placed bed and kiss while we talk about music and other interests that we share. Accidentally I begin to talk about Tyrone. She gets irritated and I can see how she wants to end our conversation. So I do what every other man in my situation would have done. I reach for her private parts and before I know it I am full on fingerblasting the girl and she seems to enjoy it. After a few minutes I hear my name being called downstairs and i turn around to see a guy behind me who I later find out had been there the whole time to witness the act. Now that´s awkward. But what´s even more awkward is that despite the fact that we had an observant I wanted to continue and so I did. However, as I continued my honorful assignment I found out that the girl was getting more and more "unresponsive". She had closed her eyes and I was beginning to hear how she breathed heavily. Within second people were surrounding us and I was just laying there on top of this unconcious girl with my hand in her panties. Her friend then carries her out and a hour later she´s gone and I haven´t seen her since. I am now known at the school as the guy who made a girl go unconscious with only the power of his fingers

Tl:dr: I KO´d a girl with my fine motor skills.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/

TIFU by smoking pot with my dad

It is my 15th birthday today and last night I decided to chill and get high. He is an alcoholic and came in very drunk confronting me about it. I let him light up with my weed because I am too high to do anything, when I zone back in I realise what is happening so I decide to smoke more because fuck it.

The weed I used was bought from a very dodgy guy and it did not smell right and I started hallucinating - I kept on seeing little bits of weed falling out of the pipe and when I went to pick them up they were not there.

So anyway it was then when my dad told me he was already drunk and suddenly he would not stop ranting on about completely irrelevant stuff.

By the time I had semi sobered up it was 3 in the morning and I decide to go to bed, I am writing this just after my parents and my sister have both come in to wish me happy birthday and I cannot look at my Dad in the eye.

http://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png

Submitted by http://www.wapmaxi.com/category/trending/